


In the Evening Sky

by xlkslb_ccdtks



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Because I got curious, Fluff and Angst, In which Jeno deserves the world and receives it, Light Angst, M/M, Welcome to Jeno's story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2019-09-16 17:57:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16958796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xlkslb_ccdtks/pseuds/xlkslb_ccdtks
Summary: A timeline of Jeno’s life through the years as he falls in love and gives away his heart under the evening sky.-An accompaniment of Through the Years.





	1. In the Evening Sky

**Author's Note:**

> This piece accompanies Through the Years, but it can be read as a standalone. Thank you, and I’ll see you in the end notes.

At age 5, Jeno meets the love of his life.

He doesn’t know it yet, but he’s going to love the adorable Chinese boy that moves into the neighborhood to the stars and back for the rest of his life.

The little boy is tiny, so tiny that Jeno and his best friend Jaemin assume he’s younger than them. He turns out to be exactly a month older than Jeno, and Jeno can’t help but marvel at the coincidence and think it must be fate.

The boy’s laughter reminds Jeno of the wind chimes on his porch, and Jeno can’t look away from the boy’s little snaggletooth that makes him look like a baby kitten.

His name is Renjun, and because neither Jeno nor Jaemin can pronounce more than simple syllables at this age, Renjun becomes their Junnie.

 

At age 7, Jeno learns to dance.

He’s always looked up to his older brother Donghae, and he’s beyond excited when his mother finally agrees that he’s old enough to join his brother’s dance classes.

When he finally enters the studio downtown as a student, he brings Jaemin and Renjun with him in hopes that they get to dance together.

Donghae teaches hip hop, and Jeno is adamant that he take his brother’s class. Jaemin’s interest is piqued as well, and Donghae’s more than happy to take another student.

Renjun finds that his interests lie in a more graceful type of dance, however, and he transfers to the ballet class that starts and ends a little later than Jeno and Jaemin’s.

Jeno’s a little bummed about it, but he soon finds that the pros outweigh the cons.

Since they all live so close together, their parents have them walk to and from the studio together, and this means that Jeno and Jaemin have to wait a bit for Renjun.

They don’t mind—in fact, they kind of look forward to it. They get to watch from the side window with other dancers’ siblings and parents, and Jeno thinks Renjun was made for ballet. Or perhaps, ballet was made for Renjun.

Afterwards, they get to get ice cream at the parlor next door with Donghae—to Donghae’s amusement, the flavors the three kids always pick make up Neapolitan ice cream—and Jeno and Jaemin walk Renjun home.

When they cross the street, Jeno makes sure Renjun is holding both his and Jaemin’s hands with his tiny ones.

 

At age 9, Jeno finds out what love is.

Donghae gets engaged, and Jeno is suddenly seeing things through a different lens. Donghae’s betrothed lights up his world, and Jeno can’t remember his brother ever being happier.

When Jeno asks his brother about love, Donghae patiently tells him that this particular kind of love starts with a crush. The crush can be on anyone—it can be on a stranger, a mere acquaintance, or even a best friend.

The last option rings in Jeno’s head, and when Donghae further explains that wanting to spend the rest of one’s life with their crush is one of the many definitions of love, Jeno’s mind lands on Renjun.

Donghae laughs as his little brother sinks into deep thought, and he ruffles Jeno’s hair as his eyebrows furrow in concentration.

In class, Jaemin tries to ask him about crushes, and Jeno blushes bright red. He wonders and panics about how his best friend could have possibly known about how he’s been thinking of Renjun recently.

He shakes his head frantically in response, avoiding Jaemin’s eyes and shoving his lunch into his mouth to waive further conversation.

 

At age 14, Jeno thinks he’s in love.

Their dance studio holds recitals yearly, and this time Jeno, Jaemin, and Renjun get to be part of the older batch of performers.

Through hours of practice and striving for perfection, Jeno and Jaemin get selected for a performance together—just the two of them—and it’s something unheard of at their studio which is actually for the gifted.

They kill it on stage, and when they get off, Renjun’s waiting with two large bouquets of flowers that his hands can barely carry.

Jeno is enchanted when Renjun gives them a gigantic smile, and he feels his face mold into a big grin of its own automatically.

Renjun races forward and thrusts the bouquets into their hands, launching himself into their arms and laughing when Jeno and Jaemin drop their flowers to carry him properly.

Renjun presses sweet kisses to each of their cheeks, and Jeno’s heart takes off and runs.

The adrenaline is getting to him—Jeno feels like sprinting up the building’s stairs to the roof and yelling at the top of his lungs. He doesn’t know what it means to feel this way, but he’s had a suspicion for a while.

His heart’s been trying to tell him something, and Jeno thinks it’s time to listen.

 

At age 15, Jeno knows he’s in love.

This year, Renjun gets selected for a prestigious solo performance near the finale of the show.

When Jeno and Jaemin finish their own joint performance—again—they stand in the curtains with Renjun’s proud instructor who had noticed his potential from the first day and cultivated his talent like her life depended on it.

Renjun’s wearing a flowy, glimmering costume that makes him look like part of the night sky. He glows as he takes his starting position in the darkness, and his grace is impossibly breathtaking.

Jeno finds himself enamored for the first time of many, and he can’t look away.

Renjun dances like an entity of another world, and Jeno wonders if the universe allowed one of its stars to join them on Earth the day Renjun came to exist.

Renjun’s radiance is fantastically stunning, and Jeno has never witnessed anything so beautiful in his life.

He wants desperately for the radiant boy illuminating the dim stage, twirling endlessly and perfectly.

If Renjun were willing to accept his heart, Jeno would give it to him entirely.

 

At age 16, Jeno tells Jaemin a secret that Renjun can’t know about, and his hands are shaking uncontrollably as he tells his best friend what he’s been keeping in his heart for a year.

“I’m in love with him,” Jeno begins.

“I want to hold his hand, kiss him, go on dates…“ Jeno confesses.

“I hope he loves me back,” Jeno whispers.

Jaemin encourages him, and all of Jeno’s wishes come true.

Renjun saying, “Yes,” is the best thing Jeno’s ever heard, and the back of his mind recalls his brother’s definition of love that he learned years ago.

He hopes he’ll get to hear Renjun say, “Yes,” again.

 

At age 17, Jeno takes the love of his life to prom.

Jeno’s bouncing off the walls the second he wakes up, and the day passes by in a blur despite how long it had felt as he waited for night to fall.

He fusses over how he looks for hours, wondering if his hair really does look good pushed back or if Renjun had just been quoting a movie when he’d told him so.

Jaemin rolls his eyes at Jeno countless times, but his best friend comes through each time he asks: “You’ll blow him away.”

When they get to Renjun’s house, Jeno watches as the love of his life descends down the staircase toward him like a star slowly falling to Earth. He steps forward and sweeps Renjun off his feet when he gets to the last step, and Renjun giggles sweetly into their kiss as he holds him close.

“How do I look?” Renjun asks when they pull apart, his eyes twinkling bashfully.

“Beautiful,” Jeno breathes out immediately, completely smitten.

Renjun’s had his heart since they were 15, and Jeno knows now that he’s never getting it back.

“Like an angel,” Jaemin quips playfully from the side, and he pretends to stagger back when Renjun sputters and lands a smack on his arm with his precious little hand.

Jeno watches adoringly, reaching out soon after to take his beloved’s hand and spare his best friend’s arm.

The night is one of the best of his life, and Jeno’s never forgetting how Renjun let him kiss him under the archway of shimmering fairy lights, how they swayed to the faint music together in the venue’s rose garden, how Renjun told him he loved him for the first time.

 

At age 18, Jeno watches the love of his life deliver the valedictorian speech to hundreds of classmates, parents, and faculty, and he couldn’t be prouder.

Renjun and Jaemin, having been honored for their outstanding academics, are making their way off of the stage when the ceremony is finally done, and Jeno races over, not caring that his tassels are flying everywhere.

He brings them both in for a big bear hug filled with laughter, and he suddenly finds himself lifted into the air.

He screeches as Donghae launches him upwards, and when he touches back down he’s guffawing so loud with Renjun and Jaemin that he might just lose a lung.

The professional photographer hired for their graduation comes over to take their pictures, and the trio hold hands and their diplomas proudly as they beam at the camera. This milestone in their life is immortalized, and Jeno knows that things can only go up from here.

 

At age 19, Jeno gets his heart broken when he and Renjun have a huge fight that ends in tears and a separation.

The breakup is fueled by an inevitable avalanche of things that have accumulated over the years, and Jeno hates himself for being the reason why Renjun runs away from him bawling.

Jaemin doesn’t pick a side, and Jeno is thankful that he’s there for both him and Renjun despite the situation they’ve put him in.

Jeno confesses to his best friend that he’s totally, completely, and absolutely miserable without Renjun, that his chest feels like it’s been stabbed with a knife that keeps being twisted deeper and deeper with every day he spends apart from Renjun. Somehow, Jaemin looks at him in a way that says he understands—but how could he?

The next day, Jaemin invites him over to take his mind off of things, but instead Jeno finds himself trapped in a room with the boy that holds his fragile, vulnerable heart in his small hands and doesn’t even know it.

Renjun, unsure and hurting, just looks at him with teary eyes, conveying so much without a word, and Jeno swears up to the stars in heaven that he’ll make sure Renjun never cries again if it means he’ll have another chance with the love of his life.

He does get another chance, and he makes a promise of unconditional and eternal love to Renjun that he will never break.

This night is another of the best in his life because Renjun makes the same promise to him—sealed with a kiss that becomes a make out session on their best friend’s bed.

Jaemin comes back at some point, and he congratulates them by ushering them over to Jeno’s own house with an exasperated smile.

Jeno leads Renjun up to his bedroom and steals as many kisses as the other allows on the way.

He spends the night with Renjun in his arms, and Jeno wonders if the love of his life knows that his heart, which Renjun’s head lies above, beats only for him.

 

At age 23, Jeno tells Jaemin another secret that Renjun can’t know about, and he’s never been more sure of anything in his life.

“I want to marry him,” Jeno begins.

“I want to spend the rest of my life with him,” Jeno confesses.

“I hope he says yes,” Jeno whispers.

Jaemin encourages him, and Jeno enlists the help of his best friend in preparing for the most crucial night of his life.

 

At age 24, Jeno proposes to the love of his life.

Jeno’s nerves are going haywire, and he can’t stop fumbling with the ring that feels heavier than anything he’s ever carried in his life. He tirelessly inspects it, examining the beautiful engraving over and over every minute.

_I loved you at 5 and I’ll love you at forever._

Nothing had ever resonated with Jeno more than when Jaemin had told him to choose those words for the ring.

Finally, Jeno gets to hear what he’s been waiting years for—Renjun says, “Yes,” to him again, and it’s another of the best nights of his life.

There’s another on its way, and Jeno waits patiently because for Renjun he would wait forever.

 

At age 25, Jeno marries the love of his life.

Watching Renjun walk down the aisle to him is like having his dreams become reality, and Jeno almost fails at holding back his tears when Jaemin rubs his back comfortingly.

Jeno reaches out for Renjun when he gets close enough, and he can’t remember his vows when his ethereal soon-to-be husband meets his eyes.

As he slides the silver band onto Renjun’s finger, his heart nearly beats out of his chest as Renjun makes him the happiest man alive.

They are pronounced husbands, and Jeno can’t hear anything beside Renjun whispering, “I love you,” right before they kiss.

The celebration of their union continues, and thousands of pictures capture their wedding night.

When they cut the cake, Jeno and Renjun are so giddy that the knife barely stays steady enough as they fall over one another in laughter. Their guests cheer as they feed each other a piece, and Jeno makes sure to steal a frosting-covered kiss.

During the toast, Donghae hugs Jeno tight and tells him how happy and proud he is, and Jeno can’t stop the tears that escape his eyes when he sees his older brother cry for the first time in his life.

Jaemin stands up, looks Jeno and Renjun in the eyes, and delivers a fantastic, emotional toast that leads to thunderous applause. Beside him, Renjun presses his face into Jeno’s shoulder in the aftermath of Jaemin’s words, and Jeno knows his husband’s heart is swelling with emotion just like his own.

The dancing begins, and Jeno twirls his mother across the floor.

Jeno watches fondly as his father-in-law hands his husband over to his best friend for a dance, and Jeno has never felt so surrounded by love.

Afterwards, it’s time for the newlyweds’ dance, and Jeno takes Renjun’s hand in his before leading him to the center.

The room quiets and the lights dim, and suddenly it’s just Jeno and Renjun. They perform a dance they created together, chasing the darkness with the light that follows them across the floor.

Jeno presses his forehead to his husband’s afterwards, closing his eyes as they sway from side to side so he can immerse himself in the best night of his life.

Jeno’s never forgetting how Renjun let him kiss him with their friends and family as their witnesses, how they danced in each other’s arms, how Renjun told him he loved him as he married him.

 

At age 27, Jeno and Renjun welcome little Lucas into their lives.

Lucas is a little shy at first, but when he opens up to them, Jeno can’t help but think his Chinese name is quite fitting. Lucas is nothing if not bright, prosperous, and like the rising sun.

Jaemin is named Lucas’s godfather, and he’d agreed to his best friends’ proposal without hesitation.

Lucas is the most adorable and lovable little guy, and Jeno and Renjun are delighted when he says he wants to be a dancer like them.

They sign him up for classes at the studio downtown, and Lucas is adamant that he take Jaemin’s class.

When Jeno and Renjun pick Lucas up, they invite Jaemin to get ice cream with them, and the three spend the next hour diligently listening to Lucas’s enthusiastic recap of his day.

Jeno and Renjun watch adoringly as Lucas, ever a sweetheart, tries to share his special triple scoop sundae with his godfather who accepts with a laugh.

Lucas comes back from school one day with a family portrait he drew in art class, and Renjun welcomes Jeno home with the biggest smile on his face as he urges their son to show him his artwork.

Lucas proudly and endearingly whips out a picture of four people with dramatically staggering heights, and Jeno pretends to be affronted when Lucas points out that Uncle Jaemin is the tall one with the giraffe neck and Jeno’s the one that looks something like an Easter Island Head. Renjun is a very nicely drawn stick figure that somehow has wings, and he holds the hand of Lucas who resembles a smiling sunflower.

The picture gets displayed in their living room, and Jeno knows he’s going to tease Lucas about this endlessly when he gets older.

Jeno can’t wait to see his son grow up.

 

At age 30, Jeno fulfills his first definition of love and his promise to the love of his life.

Jeno, Renjun, and Lucas are warming up in the in car having just bought a birthday gift for Jaemin.

They’d gone to the art supplies store after dinner because according to Lucas, Uncle Jaemin loves art, so now there’s a nicely wrapped package of crayons and paint brushes tucked under Lucas’s arm.

Jeno doesn’t have the heart to tell his son that what Jaemin loves is _him_ and that his godfather probably won’t have much use for the crayons and brushes that Lucas had so painstakingly picked out.

Beside him in the passenger seat, Renjun laughs as Lucas meaningfully buckles the package into the seat beside him and reaches back to pinch Lucas’s cheek fondly, eliciting a whine.

“Is everyone buckled in?” Jeno asks with a smile, looking into his rearview mirror to check on his son.

“Yes!” Lucas cheers, happily going for the high five Renjun offers him for taking such good care of himself and the present next to him.

As they make their way back home, they stop at a red light.

Jeno looks to his side and sees Renjun staring quietly out the window, his eyes glimmering beautifully like they always have. Jeno reaches over and takes his husband’s hand in his, bringing it to his lips to press a kiss to the back of it.

Renjun’s brought out of his reverie, and he looks at Jeno for a second before letting out an amused snort, a faint blush rising in his cheeks that still makes Jeno’s heart soar.

“I love you too, Jeno,” Renjun says, his voice soft because Lucas dozed off in the backseat a while ago, “and the light’s green.”

Jeno lets go of his beloved’s hand, releases the brake, and presses the accelerator.

Out of nowhere, there’s a bright light and loud honking, and Jeno knows what’s happening before it does. He throws his arm out to stop Renjun from flying forward, and he feels the impact of the oncoming light in full force.

It’s like catching lightning or being struck by a comet, and everything goes white.

In his last seconds of consciousness, Jeno hopes to meet everyone he loves again, and he wills whoever presides above to let Renjun and Lucas survive in exchange for his own life.

His soul slips away in the darkness, and hours later, his heart follows him to the sky, leaving behind the beloved Sun and a loyal star.

A new constellation emerges amongst the cosmos that night, a pair of stars intertwined by fate’s design and never meant to separate.

 

For the next three decades, the stars linger in the evening sky, shining down on the living and awaiting their final member.

When the constellation is completed at last, the stars rejoice, and the galaxy shines a little brighter.

The universe carries on, and when the Sun rises, the stars are at rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading my work, and if you’re a returning reader (of Through the Years, hopefully), then this is my special Christmas gift to you.
> 
> I was planning to keep this one to myself forever, but I wondered if anyone would enjoy a sweeter, less saddening take on Through the Years. I never planned to write this, but my curiosity got the best of me, and therefore In the Evening Sky was born.
> 
> I hope Jeno's story of love gives you a bit of healing at the end of a very long year.
> 
> I'm a big fan of sneaking in little references, so let me know if you caught them! And please, if something doesn't flow right I'd be happy to make improvements.
> 
> Thank you again for reading my story—it truly means the world to me. Happy holidays!
> 
> EDIT [12/12/18] - I find that it's quite interesting to open both Through the Years and In the Evening Sky in separate windows and read them side by side. I wrote In the Evening Sky with Through the Years open for reference, and having Jeno and Jaemin experience the same events from different perspectives was the main curiosity I wanted to satisfy through writing this.
> 
> EDIT [03/11/19] - I recommended a few songs in the end notes of Through the Years, and one I recommended for the moment Jeno (and Jaemin) falls in love with Renjun is Henry's "It's You". I'd like to make an addition unique to Jeno: Kyungsoo's "For Life" in English. "For Life" is when Jeno grows up and understands that he will love Renjun for the rest of their lives. Every single lyric, from Jeno to Renjun, fits impeccably: "This love—I mean it till the day I die."


	2. Through the Years

This piece accompanies [Through the Years](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14593224/chapters/33725907), a timeline of Jaemin's life through the years as he falls in love, gets his heart broken, loses everything, and gains something in return.

If you would like to see the original story through Jaemin's eyes, I invite you to click the link above.

Thank you so much for reading my stories.

Happy holidays!


	3. for renjun.

i have two things to discuss today: renjun and the future of my writing.

 

regarding renjun, i would like to talk about the blatant bullying renjun is subjected to at the hands of SM. i know this platform is a fanfic and it's "not that deep", but i'm posting it here because someone needs to see it, and i trust that those who read my work will do me the courtesy of hearing me out.

on multiple occasions, renjun has been bullied on vlive by the company staff. i know we usually call it mistreatment, but i'm calling it bullying because there is a clear perpetrator intending to do harm and a victim being targeted by the perpetrator's actions. calling it anything less accusatory denies the injustice renjun has faced.

in the vlive after the dreamies went on vacation, SM staff wouldn't let renjun, this excited 19 year old kid, talk about himself and his nice trip, but they let jeno (or whoever else) do the exact same thing right after. the staff can be heard harshly telling him to "shut up". by other users on twitter, the specific words used have been deemed extremely abusive and inappropriate to use on anyone, especially a 19 year old kid who wasn't doing anything wrong. someone equated it to the english words "shut the fuck up/shut your mouth", but i am unsure of it's credibility, so i will leave it at that. you don't talk to a kid like that—you don't talk to anyone like that, especially in a professional setting.

just this morning, they shut renjun up on vlive for talking about winwin, his closest companion that his parents entrusted him to. let me clarify that other members of NCT have done this unscathed before, and to my knowledge, only renjun has been openly scolded for this. SM deleted the video and has edited the footage to omit the part where renjun gets scolded, but something awful has been revealed to us as a result of this vlive: at 19, renjun has already developed a conditioned response to their bullying. the "okaaay" he does both times after being scolded isn't happy compliance. renjun's resigned "okaaay" is a 19 year old kid coping with getting shot down and pushed to the side for the nth time as his bandmates, literally within seconds of his own encounter, are blatantly treated better.

if you would like evidence of my words, simply search renjun's name on twitter. the footage is incriminating, and i believe you can't miss it. the way renjun's face falls is heartbreaking, and it infuriates me that the staff are allowed to treat him the way they do. if i had the right to, i would call it abuse instead of bullying.

additionally, in literally everything, renjun is not allowed to be in the center. that was further evidenced today when the staff ordered renjun to move to the side. there is no legitimate reason for him to never be allowed to sit in the center, but SM always forces him to the side. it's tiring to watch him get the least, especially in proportion to what he contributes. that goes for their music videos as well. i've never seen someone sing so much and get so little screen time.

if you want to justify any of this, you may close this tab immediately.

i don't fucking know how long this has been going on, and i acknowledge that we haven't been privy to what goes on behind closed doors, but judging by renjun's subdued reaction and rest of dream's indifference, i'd say years.

i recognize this as a tactic of targeted bullying: isolating the individual while giving (anything) to the others beside him so they won't say anything. i would like to clarify that i am not blaming the rest of NCT, but i am directly pointing fingers at SM and those who are complicit in their blatant targeted bullying of a 19 year old boy. i doubt that the anger of fans can get renjun better treatment, but if i stay quiet then i am complicit too. i firmly believe that if you see someone getting bullied and do nothing, you are part of the problem.

 

 

regarding the future of my writing, i would like to thank those who have appreciated my work, but my passion for writing for NCT has died out.

in all honesty, it mostly has to do with how i obviously favor renjun and SM obviously doesn't. the past year has given us enough evidence of that—renjun got literally zero activities while everyone else got something or at least a youtube segment (idol room doesn't count because that was just the classic "foreigner special" where the korean hosts belittle and mistreat the foreigners).

over the course of the past year, my interest in the other units beside dream waned exponentially, and soon my interest in the non-renjun members of dream disappeared as well. eventually, i began to feel this resentment and resistance toward the other members that i recognized was unhealthy. i would see fansite pictures of the other members going to schedules and feel this stinging irritation instead of the excitement and anticipation i used to feel. it made me awfully miserable, and it's not supposed to. 

watching renjun in that vlive today was the last straw.

for the sake of everything, i probably won't enjoy NCT anymore (for the time being, at least), and i won't impose myself on the fandom. however, i will still be in renjun's corner and adore, support, and love him silently.

i have decided to stop writing for NCT as of now, despite how much unpublished material has accumulated in my files. i am considering deleting my stories, but if anyone (even just one person!) would like to still read them, i will leave them up. if i change my mind, i will edit this chapter, and you all will be the first to know.

 

thank you so much for listening, and goodbye.

 

 

EDIT [07/21/19] - the vlive this morning of the 6 dream members was very telling and problematic. i'm sure everyone knows what happened, but i feel the need to point out renjun's and the rest of dream's behavior. renjun's initial subduedness, his silence, his detachment—as in how he goes through the motions of how the vlive is supposed to go (singing, greeting, appropriate nodding), his discomfort and unwillingness to interact with the members and the camera, his downcast and shifting eyes, how he occupies himself with his phone, how he hugs his knees, how he isolates himself, the physical space he constantly keeps between himself and jeno despite the others being shoulder to shoulder—those are signs of something going on behind closed doors. or, in this case, behind the camera. the others' behavior tells us a lot too. the way they try to appeal to him, how they try to engage him in their conversation, how they read the nicer comments about him so he can hear them. their behavior confirms many things, and i can't imagine the scolding/verbal assault renjun was subjected to for SM to confidently put all 6 of the members on vlive just 24 hours after the mess of the prior one. i was dreading this after the prior vlives, and it was heart-wrenching to watch.

on another note, i have received many wonderful and amazing comments and will reply soon(!) but first, i wanted to let you all know that i will not be taking down any of my stories. i am proud of my work, and i am immensely honored that you enjoy them. please understand how thankful i am for your kindness and support.

if renjun's situation improves (long shot, but i will continue to hope so), maybe we will meet again one day.

 


End file.
